Murphy's Birth Story

My sweet, sweet girl at just 6 days old.

Okay y’all, with baby 2 here, I figured that now’s the best time if any to fill you in on how everything went down. To prepare you—get a snack, a drink, whatever you need to keep you busy through this.

Disclaimer: some of this is detailed/may be disgusting to some of you so if woman-stuff grosses you out, you may not want to keep reading. Remember, this is about child birth.

July 16: There were two days before my “due date” and I was ready for this baby to be out. I had read all the different wives-tales on how to go into labor early and the one thing that stuck out to me (due to my major craving of all things spicy during my pregnancy) was a spicy pizza. My wonderful in-laws were willing to do anything to get me into labor on time (because they were driving out at the end of the weekend and were praying baby made it in time for them to meet her) so we went around town to find me a pizza. Got it. Ate it. It was pretty good but nothing happened immediately.

July 17: My last appointment before my due date. I think my appointment was around 10am and so we got up and made breakfast. My mom had been in town so it was me, my mom and Matthew sitting at the table eating when I started having contractions! WOOHOO I thought! So I go to my appointment like normal because they were very light and far between. My doctor stripped my membranes and sent me on my way. (Fun fact: did you know that you could be contracting/laboring for like, a week! Absurd, I know.) Later that day, the pain started getting much worse so we went to the hospital. They said I was only 3 centimeters dilated and due to short staff, I was either going to have to go home and let myself progress there or take a walk around the hospital for an hour in hopes that that sped up my labor. Well, we walked. For an hour. Holy painful. With all of that walking—nothing. No progression. I went home and hours later kept my pain and so I returned to the hospital. Still. Nothing. I may or may not have gone to 4 centimeters but I can’t be sure. I think by this point I had already lost my ability to pee. Murphy had blocked my bladder and so any time I tried to use the restroom, I would experience a MAJOR contraction and would be unable to fully pee. I had to turn to adult diapers and basically “pee myself” because the pain of it all was so strong. I was also in so much pain that I was throwing up but because I was in so much pain, I wasn’t eating, therefore I was throwing up green nothing. The hospital basically had to give me medicine to make me comfortable until I reach 6 centimeters (that was the only way they would be able to admit me with their short staff). Regardless, they sent me home. I want to say that I went to the hospital one more time before “bedtime” but I can’t remember. Either way, they ended up sending me home. The nursing staff suggested that I sit in a hot bath to help speed up my labor but essentially, come in only if my water broke. (Another heartbreaking fun fact: a lot of moms don’t even experience their water breaking and that gets done at the hospital right before childbirth). So we went home. I was in so much pain feeling rather defeated and feeling a strong “get this baby out of me” emotion. So I sat in a bath. That stayed constantly running. As hot as I could possibly take it. For hours. I contracted constantly because my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart as of the afternoon hospital visit and I recall Matthew saying “you always tell us that if the contractions are 3-5 minutes apart, we bring her to the hospital. They’re 3-5 minutes apart. Now what do I do?!” Poor husband was reaal stressed about that. I vaguely remember going in and out of consciousness from the pain and my mom or Matthew always sitting by my side. Eventually, I got out of the bath and cried many times to be taken to the hospital. Thank God my mom was there because if it weren’t for her calming me, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I know that I stated “I can’t do this” my fair share of times. My mom eventually sent Matthew to bed because “he needed rest” while I again, went in and out of sleep but woke up every 3-5 minutes to contract. I’d wake my mom up, squeeze her hand, then pass out again. It was a long night. At one point, I felt so bad about waking up my mom that I went into the restroom and bit a hand towel during my contractions. I think I eventually got used to the pain, just couldn’t wake up anymore, or never slept and the sun came up but it was morning and everyone woke up. I was a hot freaking mess. (I should also add that that morning I had put on makeup and blown out my hair. That was shot to hell real quick.)

This is when my angel finally got me admitted into the hospital and boy were we relieved.

July 18: It was around 8 or 9am when my mom asked “are you ready to go back to the hospital baby”? What do you think my reaction was? So we went again. We got there and they checked me and the same doctor/nurse that had been helping me the day before looked at me with the saddest, most disappointed face possible and told me that I was still only 4cm dilated. At that point, the angry Latina in me came out. I simply told her “no. I’m not going home. You HAVE to admit me. I cannot go home again.” You could see the compassion that doctor felt for me. She left the room to “see what she could do” and came back to admit me. MY LITERAL ANGEL ON EARTH. With that said, they were aware of the lack of sleep that I had gotten and my inability to use the restroom the past day and so they hooked me up to a machine with morphine to let me rest and a catheter to help me go. That was amazing. Eventually I dilated enough that they took me into a delivery room. They came in to give me the epidural (you bet your happy ass I got one of those puppies) and I remember being told that it was going to hurt. As they gave me the epidural and I didn’t flinch at all, the doctor, in shock, asked if I felt it. I informed him that I did but at this point, it didn’t even phase me. I was a bad bitch at this point lol. All of this is extra blurry but I know that as I started getting further along, they were having trouble monitoring my contractions. They needed to put something inside of me vaginally to track the contractions and that was extremely uncomfortable. No matter how often Matthew pushed the button (in the allotted time from to receive the epidural), it wouldn’t dull the pain I was experiencing, so much that my legs started shaking. I told the nursing staff that I needed them to take the thing out of me in a panic. They said that they would only be able to do that when I was ready to deliver and that it was going to feel like I needed to poo. Well, I was ready for all of that so I basically said to lets get the show on the road. With that, I was ready to push. To no surprise, my girl had a giant head that made it pretty difficult to push out. With the help of my doctor, nurses and Matthew, I was able to push my sweet little girl out. Once her head was out, the doctor informed me that the lighting above was doubled like a mirror and that if I looked up and wanted to see her coming out, I could do so. And I did. And it was the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. I was pushing a human out of me!

We had got into our room and Murphy took a try at nursing.

At 1:52am, on July 19, 2018, I gave birth to the most beautiful little (7lb 11oz) baby girl. Murphy Love Kaufmann. My recovery was insanely easy and right after I had her, I was able to get up and walk to the restroom to clean up. Nurses were shocked by that! We stayed in the hospital for a few days and unfortunately missed Matthews IBOLC graduation that day. Gosh was life good. And it’s still good. Amazing actually. This precious girl is now two and the most beautiful, fun, sweet, sassy, hyper, crazy, funny, loving human you could ever imagine. Every single day I wonder how we were so lucky to have her and I’ve thought that since the day we had her. She slept so well through the night from the moment we brought her home and we had our sleep adventures but they were never (fully) unbearable. Regardless, we kept her and endured. kidding i swear, i’d never give her up. She’s my world. My rock. My first baby. My best friend. She taught me a love that I never knew was possible and I look forward to the strong girl she is going to be in the future.

Murphy Love Kaufmann, you’re my girl.