Baby K from Pea to Pumpkin
Okay y'all, I got this amazingly adorable book from my dear friend Annika and it tracks the baby growth (each week it will tell you the size of which the baby is growing into) and it has fill in the blanks of how you're feeling, what's going on in your body, etc. It's the cutest, funnest, most interactive pregnancy journal. It asks questions that I never thought about until the book brought it to my attention. It's so personal and emotional but I still felt it was important to share these stages of life with you all!
The book starts from week six (even though we didn't find out we were pregnant until seven weeks) until birth and I'm going to update the blog weekly so you can see how things are going for me! Have fun reading and PLEASE know that these are my personal emotions about my pregnancy and growing body. Do not take my own opinions offensively.
(The picture for this blog post is the book in the case that you absolutely love it and want to go buy it for yourself! Also--full credit to the author Geralyn Border Murray)
THE BIRTH
Labor and delivery were the hardest thing I've ever done. The baby's name is Murphy Love Kaufmann. It's a beautiful baby girl and she looks kind of exactly like daddy (in my opinion) but other people say she looks like me. She changes daily though, so who knows. Baby, I had no idea I would love you so much. Every single thing about you is absolutely perfect in every way. Also, if it makes sense, your daddy and I love each other more than we ever have. All because we created the most perfect human known to man. I am so happy we had you. All the pain in the world would not make me regret this. You are my whole life. I will never forget the pain. That's for sure. Because I literally though I was dying. But the emotions I felt while pushing you out, then holding you, were the greatest in the world. It's an irreplaceable feeling.
WEEK FORTY (a pumpkin)
At this point, my feeling about being pregnant is totally ready to not be. "Get this baby out of me" is my life motto. Before the baby comes, we still need ...nothing. I think we have everything we need (?) or we just don't know what we are missing. If labor could just not be absolute pain, that'd be amazing. The outfit this baby is wearing on Day One is either a NASA onesie Matthew's players got us OR a striped onesie that Isaiah (my nephew) wore back in the day when he was a newborn. It was always so cute to me and I saved it for "when I have kids". Baby, you're already so loved! Your aunts and uncles send gifts to you/us all the time out of the blue. Gamma and Gampa drove up early to make sure they didn't miss your birth and Oma dropped everything at home to be here for two weeks to help me out with you.
WEEK THIRTY-NINE (a watermelon)
The birth seems imminent. (ANY DAY NOW BABE!) I'm getting better at cleaning quickly. I'm so tired/in pain that I'm learning to speed clean to be productive...then rest. (I hate feeling like the house is a wreck and that I'm doing nothing about it!) I think I've learned to be more patient...with every one or every thing. Or at least I've learned how to bite my tongue. Matthew probably disagrees with this completely! I hope I never forget how my partner has been (absolutely incredible) during this pregnancy. And how wonderful, loved and special it made me feel. He is truly the greatest man on Earth. Baby, the truth is we are ready for you. As terrified as I am to have to push you out of me, me and Daddy would welcome you with open arms TODAY if you would just decide to get here already!
WEEK THIRTY-EIGHT (a baby bok choi)
There is still a lot to be anxious about and a lot to be happy about. In preparation for this baby, I'm brushing up on my mommy skills (by asking lots of questions). And stockpiling absolutely nothing. We have enough to start out and will go from there. I wonder, will the baby look like me or Matthew? Or throw us a curve ball and look like one of our siblings/family members? This baby's personality seems to be crazy. I joke and tell Matthew that she thinks Drake is daddy because whenever he comes on, she moves like crazy! She's an active one. Baby, I can't wait to meet you! And see you! Daddy and I are on the edge of our seats waiting for you and talk about you all the time. We just want to hold you and love on you and give you lots of squeals. (You'll get it when you arrive.)
WEEK THIRTY-SEVEN (a honeydew)
People say I'm carrying this baby no one really comments on her location? I'm just giant. When I lay awake at night, I think about how it's going to be when you get here. Will I ever sleep again? My plan for the first few weeks after the baby comes is relax. Take in every second with baby and Daddy. And I want Matthew and my mom with me. The due date is approaching and all I can think about is when is it going to happen? Where am I going to be? How is it going to be? Baby, I am already proud of your daddy. He works so hard each and every day and just wants to be here for us. He talks about the future and having us there with him to celebrate all of his successes. Just us three.
WEEK THIRTY-SIX (a cantaloupe)
My dietary choices of late include mostly healthy, with a little touch of sugar. AND DONUTS. The person I want called about this baby's arrival is my mom if she isn't already here. Then the girls! (Annika and Alee). The class we took or book we read that was the most helpful was why lie; we are the worst parents ever. We are (I am) just going off of auntie experiences. I'm relieved about the health of me and baby. Doctors say we're great. My partner is relieved about her health as well (She's a big girl and he's happy about that.) and worried about her arrival time. He's in the field/graduating leading up to the birth so he's nervous he won't be here. Baby, someday, I plan on telling you all about how you were made. I will in no way call you a mistake (because you are not!) but you were just out little blessing/surprise. And we are SO thankful for you.
WEEK THIRTY-FIVE (a pineapple)
My outlook on the baby's arrival is scared, excited, and an emotional wreck. My belly is gigantic. I genuinely don't feel/notice it getting bigger. There are so many times it feels tiny but then I put on certain clothes and WOAH! HUGE! I hope I never forget how special this is. Planned or not, we are blessed to have created an amazing little human that I get to grow and see grow and feel kick and have perfect little baby hiccups. We still need a baby bouncer/chair and, well, a crib. But let's not get into this stuff. Baby, I promise not to leave you. I want to be there for every single life moment. My mom was a stay at home mom and it was truly the cherry on top of my childhood. I never missed out on time with my mom and she never missed out on anything with me. I will always be there to make and cherish memories with you.
WEEK THIRTY-FOUR (an eggplant)
Fatigue lately is directly related to the time of day. Speaking of foot rubs, the other thing that really helps me right now is baths. Every now and then I take time for myself to sit in a bath and relax. I think the biggest adjustment when this baby arrives will be HAVING A BABY! But really, just not being able to get up and go. Or maybe just sharing her. I'm so used to it being me and babe that I'll have to let Matthew hold her eventually. OH! And having to find a sitter. I don't even have the baby yet and I'm already terrified of the idea of having to find a sitter that I can trust. (Can't my mom just move in with me forever??) Everyone tells me to sleep now. My sleep is definitely something I'm trying to take in. I could sleep for 25 hours a day and not be enough at the moment. Baby, I hope your hair is dark, wavy/curly/ and EXISTENT (with all the dang heartburn you've given me!!) Just like your Mommy and Daddy. He's got that real dark hair and I had Shirley Temple curls when I was little. We want you to be a perfect mix of both of us because we fall more in love with each other when we look at each other so I know that'll be the case when we look at you too.
WEEK THIRTY-THREE (a coconut)
My walk lately is just a walk. I still got it...but more of a waddle depending on the day/time/what I've done that day. The time I feel most connected to this baby is when she moves. There are times when only I can feel her and others can't. It's almost like our secret bonding time together. I keep daydreaming about her already being here and sitting and rocking with her in her new rocking chair. Just kissing her sweet little face imagining what she's going to look like. The first thing I will do when I meet this baby is cry (probably). I've looked forward to this moment for so long that I just want to hold her and see her. I know that no matter what happens, I'll be crying. Baby, I hope the way you handle yourself in the world one day will be mostly with confidence. Mommy and Daddy want to teach you that as long as you are confident in yourself, nothing can stop you. We want you to be a strong, powerful girl/woman who can take on anything that comes her way.
WEEK THIRTY-TWO (cabbage)
At this point, this baby moves like James Brown (I'm assuming he dances?) and seems exactly like mommy (goes a hundred miles a minute!). My favorite activity at the moment is nesting. Can't stop/won't stop. Oh, and sleep! Something I don't miss about my pre-pregnant life that surprises me is drinking? Like, obviously I miss a good glass of wine with my dinner but the idea of drinking again scares me. Haha I'm doing something bigger than needing a drink. During labor, I want so badly to not be in pain (obviously??) and I think it will help if I have a distraction like headphones playing soothing music. Baby, if your friends let you down someday, as people sometimes do, remember that Mommy and Daddy are here and we will always have your back. We will always be your best friends as long as you want us to be.
WEEK THIRTY-ONE (a squash)
What I'm packing for the birth includes a Nora Jones playlist and a toothbrush/face scrub essentials bag. What my partner did lately that saved the day was love me. Unconditionally. He's gone a lot so while I hold down the fort, he loves me. (Oh! And he totally approved of us catering Chick-fil-A for the baby shower and it was the most clutch move ever! Thank you baby!) My wardrobe is down to dresses (I literally don't care about length anymore--it's a million degrees here), big tees and stretchy shorts, and my olive green Old Navy shorts that actually make me feel like I'm dressing like a grown up. For the baby this week, we bought hangers (for all the tiny baby clothes!) and jammies...for me...to wear at the hospital--for when I have the babe! Baby, something my mom did for me that I'd like to do for you is simply be there and love you. I can't think of a single childhood memory that my mom wasn't apart of. She's truly the best mom that anyone could ask for and if I'm even half the mom that she was, I think we'll be okay,
WEEK THIRTY (cauliflower)
My family is pretty cute about this whole preg-o thing. Something I'm really learning about my partner through this pregnancy is that he's a softy. Babe, ever since he found out you were a girl, he's a total ball of mush. And that I'm kind of ...much. Oh, and a fatty...that only holds myself somewhat accountable is because of daddy too. I want to be the kind of mother who holds you close to keep you safe but not too close that you don't learn life lessons. All of this baby gear makes me anxious! Especially the carseat/stroller and all the baby clothes! Like really, a tiny person goes in that carseat?! And how is my babe going to be 1000 times more stylish than me!? Baby, I will always try to treat you like the intelligent little human you will be. You'll be perfect and honest to a fault.
WEEK TWENTY-NINE (a beet)
This baby kicks like she's at the World Cup, like an elegant dancer, and only at 2 am or some other inopportune moment. For me, heartburn is a b*tch. And at night! The pregnancy symptom challenging me the most right now is heartburn and insomnia. And they always hit together. After this baby comes, I probably wont be able to (?? I don't have the answer for this) for a while, so I'm getting it out of my system now. My plans for the first few months after the birth includes staying in and getting all the baby cuddles I possibly can. Baby, being our kid is going to be so much fun! We are going to love you so much and treat you like our best friend/toy. You're going to be our prized possession and our little doll all at the same time. We can't wait to meet you and neither can all of your amazing aunts and uncles!
WEEK TWENTY-EIGHT (a papaya)
In the last trimester, it's feeling like this is actually going to happen, we're seeing light at the end of the tunnel, I'm in no rush to get to the finish line, this baby will never get here! (I have mixed emotions all the time but LOVE being pregnant most of the time!) We want a pediatrician who is fun, easy-going, reliable and not a weirdo. Someone that's good with kids. The baby names on our list right now are Murphy Love Kaufmann and no others. That's your name and I'm stickin' to it. This baby moves most kind of all the time. A lot while I'm in the kitchen cooking but always when I'm in bed. It makes Matthew a little nuts because when he's trying to go to bed I'll have my flashlight on watching her move. Baby, there is something you should know about your parents. We're kids. Children. TOTAL children. We are just two kids who are stupid in love and have no idea what we are doing with a kid. But we are more excited to have you than words can express and we are going to be stupid in love with you as we are with each other. You're our world.
WEEK TWENTY-SEVEN (a rutabaga)
My thoughts on breast-feeding include 100% commitment. Some discomfort I'm having right now includes pain in my lower back (if I'm standing for too long) and pressure in my LOWER abdomen. (We actually had a little scare the other night. I was having pressure/pain I've never felt before and didn't know what to do. It was like it was almost taking my breath away so I laid down for the evening hoping that I was just overworking myself. Matthew was in the field so I sent him a text letting him know...and hoping I wouldn't have to call him telling him it was an emergency!) The way I deal with it is just trying to lay low. I've been pretty non-stop lately but definitely need to give myself a break every now and then. For breakfast, I'm often in the mood for Chick-Fil-A. For lunch, it's Chick-Fil-A. And dinner is Chick-Fil-A. What can I say, I know what I like. My perfect day includes laying on the couch having cuddles with baby daddy. Soon, you'll be included. Baby, about true love, I think it is absolutely real. I never used to believe in it but probably because I didn't want to. Meeting your daddy has made be believe in love, marriage, TRUE love, and honestly, soul mates. Me and Daddy--yea, we were made for eachother. A love like ours doesn't come around often. I'm truly the luckiest girl in the world and one day you're gonna look for and find a love like ours.
WEEK TWENTY-SIX (an artichoke-but I've also seen a rutabaga)
The baby seems more real than ever. Strong as a longshoreman. (don't know what this is exactly but this kid can move. and she's so small! sometimes when I'm holding Matthew, he can feel her kicks on his sides!) The baby's room is OUR ROOM. And our room is tiny. So I'm trying to make best of what we have to work with. (I recently just rearranged it to where theres an actual spot for babe to sleep in a bassinet and not like, on the floor. And as hard as it's going to be with Matthews early morning schedule and stuff, we are gonna make this work!) My birth plan includes pushing this baby out? And possibly getting the drugs? Worst case scenario, I'm planning on c-section? (these are all weird questions. I don't feel like there are very many options...but I also haven't been to birthing class yet so stay tuned.) I'm thinking we will play it by ear when it comes to [on] the epidural question.Baby, when it comes to religion, I want you to know that God is so good and he is Almighty. He has a plan for everything and everyone. We would love to raise you Catholic like we were. Just know-God is love. God is real. That is all that matters. Make him your best friend.
WEEK TWENTY-FIVE (a mango)
My feeling toward my partner this week is grateful. Loving. Emotional. A bit impatient, honestly. Grumpy. Can you blame me? (I've got a lot of emotions. Can you seriously blame me? There's a lot of hormones going on!) I never realized how much I love Matthew. (Yes, that may be totally lame and cliche but I mean it.) I've been extremely needy and crazy about him. (By the way, he left for overnight training in the field ((or should I say a WEEK of training in the field)) and I have completely lost it. I cried a lot the day and night before and all morning. I know this is his job, but I still hate it and have never gotten used to it.) During the day, I'm tired but try to keep busy and seem productive. At night, I'm restless. I can lay in bed for an hour before falling asleep and then I'm up again an hour later. My perfect meal right now is CHICK-FIL-A. I could seriously eat it daily and be 100% content. Although Matthew would murder me. Baby, I think our most important decision for you will be how we raise you and where we send you to school. These days, you can't trust anyone or anything. Even school is becoming unsafe and I'm at the point where I want to put you in a bullet-proof bubble so nothing bad can ever happen to you.
WEEK TWENTY-FOUR (a sweet potato)
When I'm on the move, I feel slow as molasses and like a Mack truck. The temperature I need right now is hot. Hot enough to wear a swimsuit (even though I in NO WAY feel like I am capable of pulling off a swimsuit right now and can't find one to make me feel good about myself) but not hot enough to drip sweat. I'm wearing tshirt and shorts or comfy short sundresses all the time these days. You just gotta wear something comfortable and that makes you feel even the slightest bit pretty. I've started thinking about the birth. When I do, I'm most focused on how to do it! I don't know what I'm doing!! I even dreamt Matthew wasn't here for the birth so I had to do it all alone and I panicked. I even asked my doctor today about when I should start birthing classes. Baby, when it comes to the important things in life, more than anything, I hope you choose knowledge. Knowledge truly is power and whether you have a college degree or not, as long as you are smart, and trying, and learning new things all the time, Mommy and Daddy will support you 100%.
WEEK TWENTY-THREE (an onion)
Right now, exercise consists of mostly nice walks. A few mild workouts. (I want to add, Hon will walk about 56/58 miles while he is in IBOLC. They challenge the wives of the officers to try and take that on as well and walk the same distance, then will pin us as they do the men. It's actually kind of a big accomplishment for me that I fully plan to take on. Let the walks not kill me.) Lately, I've been thinking that what makes someone a good mother is just being there. Being present and loving your child/children unconditionally. That's how I always imagine my mom and she was truly the best mom ever. I aspire and hope to be just like her as a mother when we (Murphy AND Matthew/me) grow up. When I'm with other people's kids, I notice the way they behave more than ever! Having our own kids seems so much more real now. And Matthew and me being "kids" seems like forever ago to me. (Like, now we are having a frickin' kid!) Baby, when it comes to college someday, I hope you absolutely feel inspired and motivated to go. I never had a huge influence for me but I worked my ass off to a get a degree--not just for me--but specifically for you--my future child. I want you to be proud of me just as I am of Daddy and his degree.
WEEK TWENTY-TWO (a pear)
When people touch my belly, it's strange--they'd better ask first. Stretch marks are non-existent right now (that I know of. And I want to keep it that way!) When people make comments about the size of my belly, my response is uncomfortable regardless. I always feel too big or too small (and look fat). The one who is driving me crazy lately is Carmello (our dog! haha) Other than patience and compassion, my plan is to hopefully have this good/calm state of mind. Baby, I don't expect you to be perfect. I'll support you by loving you and caring for you no matter what. You'll be my first baby; the first person I could ever truly love more than your daddy. No matter what, you will always be perfect in our eyes.
WEEK TWENTY-ONE (a bell pepper)
The baby's movements feel like tiny bubbles and a wave. I'm buying this baby absolutely nothing yet! (We agreed to wait until we are further along...although I've definitely been online window shopping for the cutest stuff on the planet!!) [even though I have no idea what we are supposed to do with it] is the line following my sentence but it just didn't fit. Although I still don't know what I'd do with all the clothes I want to buy. My parents are acting great about everything. And it makes me feel amazing. As unreasonable as I'm probably being about my mom coming to help with Murphy, she's being extremely flexible with her schedule and Matthews as well. The thing I am most excited about this week is Murphy kicking. She hadn't been moving at all but as soon as we found out her gender, kicks away!! Baby, I'm not perfect. Something I'm working on becoming better for you is responsible? I need to be more motivated in the next few months. Whether it be life/jobs/working/productivity. My nesting is definitely helping getting things done but other than that, I definitely need to be blogging more (that's for sure)/ I just want to be a great role model for you, Murphy.
It's official! Baby Murphy is a GIRL!!!!
WEEK TWENTY (a tomato)
Halfway through!! Lately, my mood is mostly let's face it: I'm a big crybaby and terrified. Sleeping requires a pillow on each side of me to make sure i don't roll on my tummy. And sometimes (I've got nothing for this so I'm leaving it blank). Intimacy is a bit difficult and involves lots of pauses. Hon constantly thinks he's squashing Murphy! We finally found out the sex of our baby! In my heart, I think it's a boy. (We are waiting until the weekend to have our gender reveal. I'll keep you posted.) Baby, this week, what I'm most worries about for you is that one day you'll hate us for something you won't understand until you're much older. Just like Mommy did with Oma.
WEEK NINETEEN (an orange)
Physically, what's driving me crazy this week is my back and my belly not fitting into what I want to fit it into! The thing I am NOT worried about is you! you're really healthy which is amazing to hear! The baby can hear now. What he/she probably hears most is me asking Daddy to do things. My emotions this week are everywhere. I cry at anything. Baby, I hope you always have enough love. Mommy and Daddy are always going to be here loving you unconditionally but I hope you always know it.
This was supposed to be our eighteen week update but we didn't have a picture of anything. This is a sonogram from our twenty week appointment from when we found out the gender. I just felt like we should let Murphy know how we felt.
WEEK EIGHTEEN (an avocado) eek! my girlfriends and I have been waiting for this week forever!
My favorite activity at the moment is cleaning/nesting. Nothing I do/clean is enough. My feeling about doing Kegels is ECK! The oddest place I remember to do them is in the car. I never remember them otherwise. Childbirth classes are not on my radar. There's a chance we will try to avoid them (at least Lovey will)...until I stress the need. Then we will be there! In a couple words, my current plan for the birth is natural. But I know once real pain comes in to play, drugs WILL follow. Baby, someone gave me this advice about you and I don't want to forget it: I genuinely don't know yet. No one has given me truly deep advice but if ANYONE has ANY advice, I am all ears. I can't wait to find out more details.
WEEK SEVENTEEN (a peach)
Lately, I've been imagining meeting this baby and my life becoming a circus (HA! It seriously is though. You know it's nuts when people tell you that "you need a reality show!") My favorite baby name right now is Murphy. My partners favorite name is Maddox. The only name we both like/may have to agree to is Murphy. But daddy only wants it for a girl. Wardrobe items being left behind include anything I used to wear. Pants, skirts, even my BRAS! My partner is acting amazing about my hormones. He's definitely being patient with me. And no so amazing about the mood swings. He gets the hormone thing, but if I get too crazy, he looses it. Baby, I want you to grow up to be an astronaut! Or astronomer! Daddy loves NASA and I love the stars. It would be so awesome if you loved those things too.
WEEK SIXTEEN (a lemon)
I'm really starting to look pregnant. Romance is getting really difficult/nonexistent right now. Details include there's been no time for intimacy and when there is, we are so stressed or at each others throats that nothing is happening. I cannot wait for the baby to one day kick! When that happens, I'm calling my mom IMMEDIATELY! And definitely my in-laws. Weight gain is definitely an issue for me right now. I'm choosing to not go near scales. I'm in denial. Baby, it's so important to me that one day you have (can't fill this in) and (can't fill this in) in your life because (can't fill this is. I don't know exactly what I think or feel about this!)
WEEK FIFTEEN (a plum)
I'm worried about being a good mother and the birth. Physically, what's a bit weird right now is me growing. I've always been generally fit so not having total control of my growing body is nuts. For exercise I am doing a whole lot of incline walking. And just started yoga! For stress relief, I'm blogging. I knew I like writing but I didn't realize how great it felt to have readers. The friends who understands me most right now is Alee and Annika. They don't fully get it, but they're there for me! Baby, this week, you're impending arrival is inspiring me to be successful. I want to be someone who inspires you and motivates you. I want you to think I'm a total badass! I want to write/blog, make money from it, have followers, find success with my jewelry, blog about fashion, have a boutique . I want to be a boss, baby.
WEEK FOURTEEN (a lime)
I am showing a little but just enough so that people are looking at me oddly. My feeling about finding out the sex of the baby is excited but so nervous! My partner feels it's the best thing to find out early. I think we'll be excited regardless. We just want to meet you, baby. The best thing about being in the second trimester is that it's a little less stressful. Like a safe zone. And we don't have to worry so much, too. As for morning sickness, it's gone, thank goodness. When I imagine this baby, I'm seeing blue eyes and light brown hair. And a disposition like his/her -- ( really had no response). Baby, you should know this about your grandparents: they're amazing! On both sides. You have no idea how much you are going to be loved!
WEEK THIRTEEN (a kiwi)
I really miss sushi. The most challenging pregnancy symptom for me is being nauseous in the morning. The one thing I'm glad hasn't happened is very much vomiting. Just once. I'm spending most of my extra cash these days on nothing baby related, unfortunately, Mostly just food. The one thing my partner and I want to do differently as parents is ---. Here's how we think we might work that out: (I left this section open because Honey and I haven't actually figured that out. I mean, this being our first baby, how are we supposed to know?) Baby, this week I want you to know about what kind of kid I was. The truth is, I was really pretty darn good (BUT) also kind of a tattle-tale. I never wanted not make my mom and dad mad so I always to on everyone to make sure that didn't happen.
WEEK TWELVE (a strawberry)
My attempt to eat well is going hit or miss. My tiredness on a scale of 1-10 is an 8. But at night, it's more like a 100. (I went through a veryyyy tired phase. I'm past that.) I keep dreaming the baby is a boy. (The book also says "or maybe a...but what? Do I think I'm having a unicorn? I mean, I'd believe it if they told me I was, but I know I'm not.) So far, my favorite thing about this pregnancy is knowing a baby is growing in me. that's all. Baby, if you're a girl, I hope you always love your Daddy. I hope he is the man of your dreams and you always look for a man like your Daddy. I hope you always seek to make us proud and always act like a lady. I just hope you look up to your Daddy like I do. He's our hero.
WEEK ELEVEN (a brussels sprout)
Lately, what's making me uncomfortable is clothing related AND related to the fact that my body seems to belong to someone else. I cry at everything. And I get emotional about love. Or just a sweet song on the radio. Weight gain seems inevitable. and uncontrollable. The sweetest compliment I've gotten lately was "I love your shoes". It was my black studded heels and I didn't WANT to wear them, but I really needed the glam. One way I've probably already messed up this baby is by rinking the first month and a half because I didn't know I was pregnant! Baby, if you are a boy, I hope you will always be a gentleman. Open doors for ladies. Pull out our chairs. Shake hands firmly. Say "yes ma'am/sir, no ma'am/sir". And always tell Mommy + Daddy you love us. (I mean, no pressure kid.)
WEEK TEN (a cherry)
Maternity clothes remind me that I might never feel sexy again AND that elastic waistbands are a pretty great idea. I feel gross/unattractive all the time. The thing that helps most is a size up in clothes. And maybe a tighter butt. (I mean, who doesn't want that. I feel like a tighter bum would make anyone feel better!) I never thought being pregnant would be this (NON) fun. Auntie Cristina made it seem wayyy better. I'm becoming a mother in 30 weeks. This brings to mind visions of terror! fear! WHY!? only 30 weeks? seriously? how did I become 10 weeks already? (yea, I wasn't feeli' too hot this week.) Baby, we plan on being the kind of parents who--let me be honest here--I didn't actually fill this part out. Honey and I don't know the kid of parents we want to be. We want to be stern..strict. But we want to be as much fun as we are with each other, with our kid. Wish us luck.
WEEK NINE (a grape)
My moods of late resemble a roller coaster. Nausea is so stupid. The one thing I'm really fortunate for with that whole thing is Preggie Pop Drops. They somehow make me feel better!! When I'm away from home, I want to sleep. And, when I get home, the first thing I do is lay down and, of course watch tv, eat, OH! and put on stretchy pants. My belly right now looks like I have an eating problem that I can't get under control. A friggin' pooch. Baby, this week, one thing that's happening in the world right now is net neutrality. I don't know about it but it's crazy. And this is how I feel about it: if I have to pay to Google something, I'm losing my shit.
WEEK EIGHT (a kidney bean)
My boobs are a teenage boys dream. What I can't wait for is kicking. And really showing. There is a person growing inside me. This is a scary proposition! The thing I already miss most about my pre-pregnancy body is abs. GOSH I miss my abs! Baby, one day, when you're old enough to read this, even though it might seem silly, I want you to know I was scared of getting huge. As much as I can't wait to see you grow in my tummy, I'm not prepared to blow up. And I'm really praying I will bounce back after.
WEEK SEVEN (a blueberry)
At this point, sleep is fitful. And quite uncomfortable. I wish I had more exercise right now. Oh, and running. I'd love to run to release stress. The one thing that keeps running through my head is here is something growing in me! I cannot wait to tell Missy about this baby. Anish I wish I could tell Instagram/the blog. Baby, this week, I want to you know how much I believe in Mommy + Daddy. As scared as we are, we love you like crazy--already!! We may not know it yet, but we are going to be great parents.
This is the first image that we ever saw of Baby Murphy. We were seven weeks pregnant and had no idea prior. Seeing this image was the greatest thing in the world. I cried like crazy. I was so anxious because Baby was leaning back in my uterus so they couldn't see it topically. I thought I'd lost the baby in the little time that I'd known about it.
WEEK SIX (a pea)
Right now, being pregnant feels seems the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. The thought of growing a human makes me so nervous! EEK! What sounds really good is tacos. WHATABURGER! My partner couldn't be more amazing, loving and comforting right now. I want alcohol more than I ever have (because I can't have it). Baby, as we begin this thing, I need you to know that as unplanned as you were, you are by far the greatest thing that has ever happened to Mommy + Daddy. While we have no idea what we are doing or what we are going to do when you get here, you're already our whole world and we are going to love you unconditionally each and every day.
mk
